Reflecting on 2020

I think we can all agree that 2020 was one heck of a ride, and provided many stories/memories for the books; but it was also one of the most transformative years of my life as well, as I think it has been for many others too!

I started my evening by turning on some worship music, and pulling out my journal to write about the ways God has worked in and blessed my life this year. However, before I got around to that, I came across an entry I had written a few months ago, in October of this year, and decided to read through it. And I'm so glad I did. It's one of the many reasons I love journaling; you can see how God worked in you and provided.

Anyway, what I wrote then is so applicable to looking back on this year, and is something that was so impactful to me I was practically bursting to share with as many people as possible. This is what I wrote:

"I read somewhere (probably Instagram) from a lady, a really interesting and wise outlook to have when you find yourself surrounded and flooded with good things. I don't remember well enough to quote her word-for-word, but what she was saying was this: if people are making negative comments/showing jealousy over your abundance of blessings, or calling you "too happy," don't let it discourage you or make you wonder if something is off. It simply means you are in a season of harvest!

So many things you've desired/prayed for are coming to pass, and you are reaping a bountiful harvest! I had gone through so much hurt, worry, and anxiety in recent years due to friends betraying me, and I went MONTHS feeling sad, hurt, less valued, and like it'd never end. 

But JESUS 

I prayed to Him constantly, never treated those who hurt me with revenge or malice, and I focused on how God blessed me, even during that time. I did everything I could to try and help. And I made it through.

I was brave enough to tell the boy I had a crush on for yeeeaaaars how I felt, and... now we're married.

But now, I find myself in a season of harvest! As I already said above, I got married to the best man I could hope for! I have a better job situation, working at a place where I can cultivate my creative passions, because I stuck it out where I was and prayed and hoped for a better option. I wasn't sure I could afford dance classes anymore, but God provided a way for me to still dance and not have to pay. I no longer live in anxiety about which friends are real or fake, and I'm SO blessed with the best friends and family I could hope for. I've regained my joy and confidence, and I know where my identity and value will always be found.

All of that to say, God never left when I was going through a hard season, and He saw and heard my pleas and the desires of my heart! I would constantly pray for peace during the hardest nights when all I could do was cry. And I prayed for the right guy to come my way as I patiently waited, and would occasionally say I hoped it was Tim. And LOOK at how He delivered, provided, and blessed me!

So dudes... indulge in the season of harvest God bestows on you, and always have hope and patience in the hard, knowing there is a bountiful harvest awaiting you on the other side! And give grace to those who may not see that; who may not see you; who may not see your full story."

While I was reading through this entry, the song that came on in the worship playlist in the background was one many probably know: "Way-maker." This song gets played a lot, so it can seem repetitive or old to me at times, but this time a certain refrain kept hitting home as I read through that entry:

"Even when I don't see it, you're working. Even when I don't feel it, you're working. You never stop, you never stop working."

Boy howdy, did that hit home. I was instantly in tears. Because there were times in that season that I didn't see Him working or even feel Him working; but He was. It's not that I didn't trust He was working in my life, but it is sometimes so hard to see it or feel it when you are really going through the muck. Hearing those words right after reading through that entry, I could just feel God hugging me, smiling, perhaps even laughing with joy at my realization! I could hear Him say, "See! I told you, Amy... I love you. I never left, and I heard your every prayer and knew your greatest needs and desires."

So while this year may have been hard for many reasons, I cannot help but burst with joy and thankfulness! God has blessed me with a bountiful harvest of good things this year, and I am indulging in it richly. God is so incredible, awesome, and amazing, and He never fails.

If you are in a hard season and are dealing with more hurt than joy, let me first say this: I am so sorry. I have been there, and it's hard. But my life is a testimony to how God has a plan for everything, and has a great purpose and plan for you as well! So don't lose hope. Be patient in suffering and day-to-day frustrations, knowing that God has a bountiful harvest in store for those who are faithful to Him through it all! Here is to a great 2021, and all the new ways God will work and bless His people!